Healing For Narcissistic Abuse Survivors During The Holidays
Recovering from and healing from narcissistic abuse can be challenging, difficult and sometimes feels like the impossible, but with time, the right supports, and nourishing yourself with self love, self care and being gentle with yourself, healing DOES happen.
There may be some days where you feel like you are finally taking some great steps forward while other days, you feel like you are right back to square one and feeling hopeless, defeated and as though you are never going to get through this. Some days you can navigate and work through the triggers without them completely derailing your entire day, while others, especially during the holidays, can feel as though you are back in survival mode.
Recovering, healing and dealing with triggers from narcissistic abuse and PTSD and C-PTSD can sometimes be harder to cope with especially during the holidays. While we know deep down that we are truly relieved the narcissist is out of our life, it can still be difficult knowing they have already so quickly built a whole new “wonderful life” with their new supply and are getting the “charming, wonderful, kind & charismatic” version of the narcissist that we can barely recall as it was so long ago that we saw that version of the narcissist. The holidays can bring up triggers or painful memories of moments that were often ruined or even the brief happy memories that we know were not real for them but were real for us. So, if you find yourself struggling during the holidays especially as Narcissists flaunt their new “supply” and their new “happy and wonderful life”, know that their new supply is only their next victim, and that narcissists cannot change who they are, they only continue the cycle with someone new.
So if you find the holidays are bringing up more triggers for you, know that you are not alone in this journey of surviving, healing and thriving from narcissistic abuse, and here are a few things that may help the holidays feel slightly more manageable.
Take a moment to celebrate YOU; celebrate every step forward, ever progress you’ve made thus far, and celebrate all the things that YOU get to enjoy this holiday season that won’t be ruined by the narcissist. All of those things that you have always wanted to do but never was “allowed” to or too scared to ask for because of the narcissist, now you can enjoy them without fear of them being ruined and YOU get to create new happy memories.
Rest: Take time to rest. Recovery and healing from narcissistic abuse is a lot of hard work. Some days recovery feels overwhelming and some days you may feel like shutting down and giving up and the holidays can sometimes feel even more draining especially when you are working on your healing journey and because you may be experiencing more triggers and flashbacks then usual. Rest is an important aspect of recovery. Our minds and our bodies have been put through so much pain and suffering, and they need time to heal and rest is important in the healing journey.
Fuelling Yourself with Healthy Foods & Hydration: Nourishing yourself with healthy foods including protein, fruits and vegetables is important because our bodies and our brains need nutrients and energy to function. Hydrating yourself with more then just coffee, is important. Our bodies need water too!. Research has proven that narcissistic abuse can lead to significant health problems and diseases, and our bodies need both rest and healthy foods to keep our nervous systems healthy and to fight against health conditions.
Practicing Mindfulness & Grounding: Practicing any sort of mindfulness, alerting yourself to the present and practicing grounding exercises can help to regulate your nervous system and can ground you when you are experiencing triggers and feeling “all the feels”. Deep breathing can also be a quick way to help cope with some tough emotions or for when you are feeling overwhelmed. Deep breathing can also help to slow the brain down too so that it can process and allow you to think better.
December and the holidays can be filled with a mixture of so many things, some we anticipated and others, not so much. So, to anyone who is recovering and healing from narcissistic abuse, please be gentle with yourself. Recovery and healing can be filled with what seems like a never ending rollercoaster ride of emotions. And another helpful reminder especially if you are triggered or reminded of the new supply especially if you have to co-parent with the narcissist, is that the fake mask and performance of the narcissist, can only last so long. We were once their new supply while the previous survivor was learning how to cope with the aftermath of the narcissist’s abuse. Just take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are safe, remind yourself that one day you will look back and thank your lucky starts that the narcissist is no longer in your life and you can finally be set free to live a truly happy and healthy life free of mental, emotional, verbal abuse and you have been truly set free from your narcissistic abuser. May these holidays find you peace, comfort and may you find not only what heals your soul, but what fuels your soul.
For more info or for support on recovery and healing from narcissistic abuse, contact Mallery@Serenityandsoulhealing.com or visit www.serenityandsoulhealing.com
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